Writing My Wrongs

(During the day) There is a prize for hitting the bull's-eye, but if every archer aims at the same target then your chances of success are reduced - as well as your sense of accomplishment since you haven't broken any new ground. You don't have to necessarily aim higher, just somewhere else. Once you release that arrow though, the whizzing and piercing sound and the resulting scatter will attract attention. Being a competent archer capable of hitting whatever you set your sights on is important. Hit it before the competition does.
        Hmm. You know what's more impressive than hitting a bull's-eye? Being able to hit any part of the target you want. Instead of adding yours to the steady barrage of arrows speeding towards that red dot, aim yours at one of the outer rings and shoot a circle of arrows around them; or the shape of the letter of your first name; or paint the stem of your arrow a bright color so everyone knows what you've done. You can be better by being different.

(And before bed)  What am I aiming at? What am I shooting for (and for)? Am I using the right bow? How taut is my bowstring? Did I just run out of arrows?

       I remember taking archery in 6th grade. Only because I broke an important rule (not purposely, absentmindedly). I walked to my target (to collect my arrows?), which was aligned horizontally with the others. The other students were still shooting when I had done this. My teacher was pissed, but in a concerned way (if that makes sense). He yelled at me and asked if I were stupid or an idiot or something. I started crying. I remember him hugging me, but from a distant, third-person view - like I was another student watching from about 30 ft. How characteristically detached of me (or maybe the visualization serves to preserve the emotion since I can't actually remember how it felt).

      Right now I feel like the teacher is yelling, but I can't understand what he's saying - only that something is wrong. So I freeze. Not knowing what to do next.

(The next day)  I've been writing more, lately - world maps, thoughts on A.S.I. (Artificial SuperIntelligence and no, I didn't think Ex Machina was all that exceptional) and consciousness, pros and cons of character traits of characters for one of my IPs (about freaking time). It feels good to free up space in my brain. It's about time I let the paper carry some of this weight.

      I've been in 'No Go Mode' the past week and a half. I think it might be time for me to make another move. Washington state is my current top pick. Moving back home was ok, at first - spending less on rent, closer to family - but getting too close to the past can reinstall/reinforce old thought patterns and I've been successfully ridding myself of those over the past few years. The past is a sore loser. If I plan on winning then I'll have to cut it from the team. I'll check my finances come spring and revisit relocation.

Before, between and after studies I'll doodle for a bit. It helps me discover weak spots and in loosening up.

These were lighting studies done from a photo. Same pose, different lighting angles.

I love this one for some reason. I think it's the expression. I used the same line work for each drawing and painted on a layer or two below. BGs were separate, also.

 

This was part of a 6-study series of the same person. I could've bumped up the highlights. I spent a little more time on each piece as I completed the set. This was number five.

This was number 6. I kind of overworked it and could definitely use some edge variation. I like how the flesh tones started turning out. I still need to practice nailing them sooner, though.

Here, I did a rhythm traceover first. Next, I did a value study in A1 then did B1 from memory to test myself. The same was done for A2 and B2.

Mistakes are Questions You Haven't Found Answers To

That's how I feel when I struggle with color studies. The mistakes I make come from a lack of understanding (and experience/mileage). Every stroke is a 'why' - Why doesn't my color choice match what I see? Why is this part so saturated/desaturated?- or a 'what' - What the kind of gradient is that? And my personal favorite, What the hell is the tensor fasciae latae and iliotibial band doing?

  At this point you might direct my attention to something I may have heard of - it's called a 'search engine'? And you'd be only partially correct, especially if I were to find the answer I was looking for instantaneously (rarely happens). "... questioning is an incredibly important engine for cognitive development" and since I consider myself more a designer than an artist, mulling over these conundrums (for just a little bit!) is good exercise. This works better for more open-ended questions, though (character development, story arcs).

Friday was my last day at my job. I definitely needed to change my work environment. Being micromanaged and redirected multiple times per hour in an environment constantly blasting music takes a toll on an introvert. These past 15 months were a pretty good exercise in stoicism and I've learned a bit more about my 'self' (mostly that it's always changing, which is good). My life philosophy is maturing and learning the difference between tactics/planning vs. strategy was one of many mini - epiphanies (that tickled) I've had the past few months. Currently, "I seek to produce a map rather than a set of directions. Directions are succinct and useful until you get lost or need to change your plans. Maps allow for optimization and the freedom to choose your destination, but they require navigational skills." I am currently leveling mine up.

More Croquis Cafe gestures. I think they operate out of Philly. I need to find out if they do live classes since I'm not too far away.

Explorations in color. These were done from two Jane Radstrom pieces. One recent device I've employed is to not call the colors the names we were taught, but figure out what real world object they resemble most and call them THAT. Raspberries, peaches, dimly lit yellow Renaissance painting grapes, strawberry milk - not too many things. This helps balance out exertion when painting. Trying to juggle technical terms this early in my learning with matching colors in my reference images burns me out a little. This technique isn't a substitute for learning the terms as I believe it's important to be able to communicate with more established/professional artists/teachers/art directors and to also deepen my understanding of the concepts. Just another way to add more playfulness to an otherwise intense process.

Sherbert ice cream. See? It kinda works, right? A still from Nightcrawler. The reflective light from the computer screen was a little hard to render. I don't recall the source of that greenish light from the left. May have been from outside. Same with the warmth under the chin and neck. That could be the one rule where the shadow color is the complement to the light source. Or may be coming from another light source in the room - a bulb from above?

He looks a lot more dignified here than in the actual scene. Here is where I kinda saw some peachiness in the transition from the lit side of his face (left) and the darker side (right) - around the forehead and right cheek. This and the one above were a little hard to nail down. One thing I must remember to do is simplify my values in the beginning.

Take a Break, But Don't Break It

Began April by taking a break from Athlean-X. Between that, OT at work, 67 Steps, reading and studying I'd probably falter somewhere. Learned that lesson already. Took the advice of reading five books at once (Tai and James Altucher). Finished Sam Walton's, but still going through The Self-Aware Universe, The Armchair Economist, Writing Subtext and All the Light We Cannot See. Cracked open Color and Light and The Happiness Hypothesis a few days ago. I feel like Dale in Stepbrothers during that bathroom scene with the other dude's wife (Something's happening!). This entry is a little less poetic/metaphorical, but I've been saving the juicy stuff for a character I'm currently developing.

Stephanie Liu from Lookbook. I've been trying to get better at seeing color and being just a little more bold when it came to color choices (in the hair, at least). I had the source image on a plasma screen (TV as second monitor) so the contrast and color were more vibrant than my work screen (LG Flatron 23" LCD).

This was the first study I did of her. Values in the legs, arm and face seem really different. They were in the photo, but here idk. Maybe I should do simpler studies so I can focus more on color/speed.

This was another study of a J. Larriva painting. I like the colors he uses. I go back and forth between doing studies from his work and from photos. I guess less with color with his and then try to take what I've seen and use it when doing photo studies.

This was done from a photo of kxtbonifaco. Certain burgundies and greens or yellows that I saw. There was some coolness in the photo that I couldn't really capture.

"Subconscious Arrogance"

 I'm currently going through Tai Lopez's '67 Steps' program and that's how he refers to 'going it alone' syndrome, of which I am completely guilty. Also reading 'The One Thing' (on Tai's recommended list) and the part about willpower being depletable struck home. In the fall/winter of 2013 I took time off from working to focus on anatomy and I made a lot of progress, but if I were following a routine structured by a master I would have gone further. My drive has increased this year and the past two months felt like six in terms of mental development. I feel different. Aiming for 2-3 books to read per month. And Puma ran out of the house last week! He went 'Wolf'. That is a good sign.

Did some back studies in February. As I progressed through each one I spent a little more time refining them.

There were other studies I started, but didn't finish so I'll post them next month.

The veins were an afterthought. VishStudio on DeviantArt has awesome anatomy reference.

The Dog Who Cried 'Wolf'

Was looking at Puma (orange Pom) while making dinner. Just sitting there, tail wagging waiting for me to drop a little snack for him. It's funny how he slowly backs up to sit when I just stare at him. All for a treat.
   I thought about how other dogs are bred to be pets and, if they're the last in their line and have no siblings or pups, how much struggle and pain their ancestors went through just to get them to this point - domestication. Was that really the goal? Is 'comfort' the goal of survival? Or its enemy?
   He snaps at MJ, barks when the door opens, barks at squirrels. Eh, souvenirs. He has a diet his distant relatives lack the brain power to fathom, but is for the most part confined - the house, the cage, the yard. He's very protective of it, though. I think most people believe their pets love them, but if they were shrunk down to 1/20th their size what would their pets do to them?
   I've been thinking about the types of treats I've sat for, though they aren't many. I've barked a long time, protective of my goals and ambitions. Every now and then I have to stop and ask if they've robbed me of something greater or wonder why I couldn't just be content with the things most people are happy with.
   What's the use of having the loudest bark in the neighborhood if you can't escape the yard. You aren't protecting anything, the fence is. One day the gate is going to be left open. Or you're going to dig a hole under it. What then? Do you 'woof'? Or 'wolf'?

I found pictures of an Asaro head online (about 16 angles?). The planes of the head (and body) are a current focus of mine. I feel like I'm being ushered into Perspective, but I may equip ZBrush or Max before battling it. In the future, I want to try a hybrid approach to figure drawing/character creation. Instead of guessing/calculating perspective, I'll sculpt a basic figure (leaving gaps for articulation) and use it as a starting point.

So, I forgot to cancel my New Masters Academy subscription and they billed me for another month. Thought I'd make use of it and just when I found something really valuable (the 3D planar head model with custom lighting) I reach the end of my term again. These are just freehand doodles, but the lighting of the heads on the left was referenced from me playing with different light setups on the 3D model.

Not much gesture drawing in January. The month started with turbulence (emotional, mental), but my ability to coach myself out of dark spots has improved. I need to get off my 'mad scientist' soon and rejoin the online art communities.

Top two figures reflect how I felt early this year (excluding that guy's head). The one on the top right could represent me getting back up. The heads on the lower left were drawn from the NMA planar head. Different angles/lighting.

Ha, here he is himself. Mr. Poomshley T. Poomshdee aka Puma bka Puma Dooma. He'd look good in a StarFox costume. Persia's somewhere jealous ... or indifferent. Anyway, I've been haunted by restless reflection. I feel like something has to happen this year. Back on my gym routine and I'm seeing results on Athlean-X. My weight is about the same, but my body composition is changing. I may add a sixth day of exercise (conditioning/cardio/metabolic training) to try and lean out more.

Gotta Learn to Go Limp - LOO$EY GOO$EY

Shake. It. All. Up. Song stuck in my head (ahem).

Time and attention. If 'time' is currency, then 'attention' is the transaction. What use is extra time if you aren't spending it wisely? Am I paying attention  to the things that accrue the most interest for my end goal? I'm always assessing/reassessing my portfolio, but sometimes it pays to gamble. After doing mostly studies for the past 1.5 yrs (almost halfway through my 4-yr plan) I finally created something just for the hell of it. I can't believe how fast time flew by when I did it. It's something I haven't felt for awhile. More importantly, I was able to spot areas that need more investment and will reallocate as necessary.

1 of 2 pages of warm-up exercises I picked up from Peter Han. You go over your lines, curves, circles, etc. 8x. This is supposed to be done in a sketchbook (where you can actually watch your hand move as opposed to a stylus and Wacom tablet where your eyes are on the screen) and improves hand dexterity, also. When I did studies afterward the strokes DID feel more fluid.

I didn't get to all 5 basic shapes yet, but these were done from renderings in 3DS Max. Lighting in the program is a monster of its own so I was unable to depict bounced lighting. The cube and sphere are of one light set up drawn from different camera angles.

Here is where I felt like breaking free from my standard routine of doing gesture drawings from Croquis Cafe (OnAir video is the Youtube page). I noticed before I'd start a session I would just doodle on my own and this time I just went with it. I like to draw emotion/a story when I mess around so I went with 'The Bench'.

Proko's Anatomy Course is here! Good thing I didn't drop 7 bills on Scott Eaton's. This was a free exercise he gave out so I took a stab at it. Ecorches (or anatomy tracings) are crucial to the understanding of anatomy. Why haven't I done them up until now, you ask? Stagnation? Procrastination? I wanted to wait until I enrolled in Scott Eaton's program so yeah, procrastination.

"In the Land of the Thai the Man with One Eye is King"  But the sun sets on all kingdoms eventually. Some issues with perspective and anatomy; left out a few details; it has that 'Photoshop Look' to it, but I just need to vary my brushes. I only used the standard brush (except for the grass). Fan art is good for drawing on emotion/inspiration as you don't have to pull too much from your life experience to tell a story. The characters are familiar so you sort of role play. Besides, I have another world I devote a lot of myself to. My focus is renewed (getting back into the gym next week!) and January will be spent doing "active recovery" before putting to bed the 2nd year of my self-study.

Misdirected, But Not Misled

I can't recall everything I wanted to say here, but a recent video I saw by an artist I admire (didn't know it was him until I saw one of his works I recognized) spoke about the importance of painting abstractly in regards to color harmony. It was just what I needed to hear. Color is a dragon that can never be slayed, but I'm damn sure going to take one of its wings as a souvenir. Beleeedat! lol

And god, I see why so many complain about the lost resolution of some of the work they post ...

The source image is warmer so maybe I could've saturated my study more. There was enough contrast in the image for me to spot some of the planes of the face. The next one, though ...

... opposite case here. I warmed her up a bit too much, but I was experimenting (just a little bit) with a color layer.

And I've reintroduced myself to the importance of doodling. Time super flies when I just draw aimlessly. I like that. Perspective and a few more issues with anatomy need to be addressed, as well as value. I'll finally be tackling those this week by cracking open a few Digital Tutors videos about modeling and lighting in 3DS Max. I miss Max. I'll render some primitives (what a deity says before creating people) in basic lighting setups and draw from them.